This post is a little out if the ordinary for me, my family suffered a loss of someone special. Below are some of my reflections on it from a few weeks ago.
A week ago today, my mom lost her husband, my step-dad. I’m 26 and I have never experienced a loss of someone in my immediate family. This is the first one. The closest before this was a friend of my moms that was somewhat close, but nothing to this level.
I could sit and talk about how it happened, or about how emotions were high for a few days… about the love and responses we’ve gotten from people all around us. Or, I can share here with you what I have learned, my biggest takeaway. As a lover of reflection, insight, learning and thought… I will do the latter.
It’s been one week since my mom’s husband has passed away and it has taught me to stop being lazy and stop making excuses. Let me explain.
This man, who died at a young 67, has brought so much to this world. So much, most about which I had no idea, until I flew to my mom to help with arrangements and emotional support over the next week.
My life dream is to be an entrepreneur and there are many reasons for this. One is for freedom… Freedom of money, time, flexibility. But, the biggest and most important reason is to make an impact.
That is exactly what this man did during his time on Earth. His reach was exponential. And no, he was not an entrepreneur in the same sense that I envision for myself. He did not have the freedom of such things listed above to the extent at which I seek. But… he lead his life with love, positivity, unity and optimism. And that aura reached all who spoke to him. It has shown in the last week when my mom, the rest of the family, and I go to speak to others about his passing.
So, why has this taught me what it’s taught me? Because, he was not sick. Sixty-seven is not young, but it’s still nearly 20 years below the current life expectancy. Twenty-f*cking-years…below the current life-expectancy. Do you realize how much impact one person can make in 20 years? Yet, he didn’t need another 20 years to do so, he made it in his lifetime. And to add to that, a year and a half ago he moved to his final resting place and he had a huge impact on the people here.
In one-point-five years he positively affected an entire community. If that is not powerful, I do not know what is.
Can you imagine, if we led our lives similarly, the kind of impact we could make in 1 and a half years? In 3 years? In 5 or 10 years? In 20? If you can not see that… if it is too big a number to imagine (I know I sure have trouble imagining MY life at 46), imagine what impact you can make in one day with that amount of love and unity. Impact one person in one day.
There are 365 days in a year… 260 if you take off weekends… #IJS.
So, yes. The suddenness of this, the timing, my poor mothers heart and the unexpectedness of this is all so very sad. But, like him I am choosing to look at the positivity in it. I am choosing the love and the optimism. He was gone WAY to soon, and I (and I’m sure many other people) will not forget him… ever.
This post is dedicated to Stephen “Baba Q” Quincey… The only man I ever trusted with my mom’s love.